14. The last Post

After quite an awful day, I write NOW my last post for ENG 102.

At first, I thought that English lessons brought me no benefit. However, in this winter, I changed my mind.

I won so much!

I see someone who is always there to help me, who shows me goodwill. In my first year of the university, she is among the few ones who really has goodwill. After I got to know her, I didn't understand why some rumors about her go around at school by students. However, who cares..

I sometimes thought that I do not deserve what I exactly got.. Her effort and willigness for me are far higher than mine.

The person mentioned here is Sonja. I thank her a lot. I hope I will always be the Can she trusts, although I make mistakes sometimes.. But I know she would accept them. She would discard them.. At least, I would, if I could know what thoughts are present in my head.

I am no spoiled child. I realize a lot of things.. And therefore, I thank her again.

Sometimes I deserve less and I feel a shame in myself if I wanna have more..

Besides, there is one more point worth mentioning: I got really good friends, about whom I am sure that they will be still my friends for the future, for many years. I will always remember my Freshman year with so many good memories..

Everything begins, "everything flows" (as Heraklit says).

Nothing is an end as long as we breath.

And now, we have lots of things in front of us.. Go for it!

13. About identity

retrieved from http://wackywebwritings.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/identity-fraud1.jpg

Recently there has been something argued between my twin (for those who don't know I have a twin, I let you know now) and one of our friends.

The reason was a simple. My twin wants to wear earring, so for that he must have his ear pierced. He declared his intention and our friend reacted in a weird way. According to him, such actions are imitations of other people.

My sister and I agreed with each other at one point:
Apart from being an imitation of others, how can someone find their identity? How can they find who they are?

Everybody tries something in life. Some trials are good, some are bad:D Some choices are really huge mistakes (I remember some :D:D) and some lead to really different, great occasions.

So, why should someone try to limit themselves? Why this limit in everywhere in lives?

If I want something, then that just means that I want it. It is so simple, please, people should often think simply. No deeper meanings are found sometimes. The reason or the answer can be just on the surface, not at the bottom..

And this imitation issue? I do not get angry with my friend here. He just reacts in an expected way. I am sure that most of us would react in the similar way. However, I am furious about the fact such a concept "imitation" exists in this shape.
Imiation would be really seen, if someone imitated something or somebody without their own mind, without their own thinking. Nevertheless, apart from that, trying something is not an imitation.

And why this limit, this striving for categorizing, why elephant in the room?

As if nobody wants something, as if everyone are right to judge something in a classical and typical way.

You know, I have once found a very great sentence in a dictionary (Elif knows it surely:D). Here it is:

Everyone sins at some time, in thought if not in deed.

12. A Rose for Emily

retrieved from http://articles.annamariaislandlife.com/assets/images/onpage/Rose_Memorial_Community_Church.jpg *


The pub quiz is soon. And we should recall the texts we read. I took a brief look at them, there are some which I haven't blogged on. I have chosen the story "a Rose for Emily" for now.

A Rose for Emily - what a dark story, isn't it? Thoroughly dark..

OK, I have read that the place where Emily lives, Jefferson, is made up by William Faulkner. That is, Jefferson is his phantasy town. However, we can understand from the story that it might be in the south of the US.

Emily seems to be the main character in the story, nevertheless, the community also plays a big role! It is also a main character, so to say. We learn about Emily's life and attitude much, simultaneously about the community as well throughout the story. And besides, the community that gossips and delivers various rumors within itself exists everywhere on Earth, it doesn't matter the country or the state, I guess. :D

I am not sure whether Emily is black or not. I think she is not black. I derive it from the fact that her family is kind of rich in this country and as we know black families especially at that time couldn't own much property.
And if she isn't black, then I would expect from the commuunity to be more brutal on their attitude towards Emily. Because the fact a white woman has some close relationship with a black guy would be really more unacceptable yet than today. However, maybe Emily alienates herself from the community so the community in turn decides automatically on not interfering with her life so much, who knows?

There is also one point that should be noticed immediately and absolutely by us:D
The situation of blacks in the society. The men who were supposed to pave the sidewalks and Emily's servant are black.

And..

Faulkner uses the word "the Negro" when referring to the black servant. I hesitate whether he shows racism here but I think that a writer like he wouldn't be racist. Then why to use "the Negro"?

*About the picture: While reading the story, I imagine a typical American town on my mind and it reminds me of a typical church which is common in the USA that exists beyond Holywood movies.

11. Summer

retrieved from http://khwaja.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/summer_sunflowers.jpg


This part is the shortest part. It is of thoroughly sadness.

There is one point which I wanted to point out in my presentation, however, it was also among the parts I had cut.

It was about the change in people. You know, if we ask why adolesence is "blue", we can answer it by saying: "Because much of problems seem to exist and the adolescent couldn't handle with all of them, so they fall into blueness." It is also new and first, which we realise in adolesence, that we can or should change something in our lives, in the word.

We can find what I mean here:

The part where Frieda and Claudia decide to bury the money they collected. They come to know that Pecola is pregnant and realise that they should do something for her.

The words of Toni Morrison exactly support my thesis:

"Our limitations were not known to us - not then. ... So it was with confidence, strengthened by pity and pride, that we decided to change the course of events and alter a human life" (p.191).

And their sacrifice carries a big value. That action reminded me of what a friendship should be like.

Another point I'd like to mention in the Sommer section is the inner-conversation of Pecola.

" How come you don't talk to anybody?
I talk to you.
Besides me.
I don't like anybody besides you. "

Yes. As Pecola talks to herself, what she and the opposite speaker say are thoughts of Pecola. We know it already that Pecola is expeled from human relationship by lots of people. In this conversation, we can see that she is also aware of this fact.

More precisely, she is aware of the fact that she doesn't talk to anybody, she is discriminated. She also fools herself by saying that she doesn't like anybody besides her inner voice.

This is very brutal. Someone wants something, but they can't do anything. They cannot get rid of what stops them. They cannot reach what they need. They cannot do anything against what causes melancholie to them. They cannot because they have no power. It is out of their might, there is no solution. And finally, they come to accept the situation. The situation which gives them the greatest sadness.

This would be less touching, I think:
I am discriminated. I know it. But it is just because I am discriminated. I don't know, it is so. It has been so, and it is still so.

But,
I am discriminated. I know it. But it is because I am black and ugly. It is because of my inherit characteristics. I accept it. I have nothing to stop it. Although I am aware of everything, I must accept that. No good think is given to me, I suffer. I know it, I cannot do anything. I fool myself. I know everything, I am oppressed, I give up.

I hope I could express what I mean.

10. Spring

retrieved from http://decideforyourself.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/spring2.jpg


Good afternoon the followers of my blog:P As you can see as well, there has been an interruption in my blog. I postponed publishing a post, then the exams began and I had almost no time to write a proper blog. However, it is my fault. I should have managed my time:(

Anyway, blogging continues..

In this post I'd like to talk about the spring section of The Bluest Eye. It is the longest part of the novel. It includes lots of parts.

After I read the whole book, I realised something in the Spring section. Remember the part of the Spring section where Frieda and Claudia search Pecola to get some whiskey. When they find her, Pecola gets to know that they asked Miss Marie where Pecola was. They ask her again whether Pecola is scared of Miss Marie. Pecola says no. Then, she tells them that she is given some present by the whores; and adds that she got "jewelry and candy and money" and "pretty dresses, and shoes". The sisters react that that couldn't be true and that she doesn't have any pretty dresses (p.107). Pecola says that she does.

After reading the novel and take a brief look at its pages, I realised something: Pecola is obsessive about having what she doesn't have, which leads her to insanity. In the end, she goes mad. She thinks that she does have blue eyes.
In this part of the book (Spring section), I can also state that she think she has something, i.e. some pretty and pretentious stuff, given by three whores. Maybe her madness doesn't turn up in the end of the book and immediately, but has been present, in an intensive way or not, within her daily life. Yearning for anything so desperately and strongly affects her life entirely and, which is seen here obviously.

Its effects appear somewhere and somehow throughout her life.